First post for a long time, not entirely sure why I stopped doing it to begin with. Anyway, to lazy to construct a properly paragraphed journal entry, so doit points it is

House sitting is awesome. Love being away from the house, (although I miss the dogs), and have been getting along a lot better with mum with out the constant contact that combined living quarters forces. I am however, running low on food, and everything is disgustingly messy. Still utterly enjoyable though.

I have become seriously obsessed with Star Trek; Have been watching Voyager and TOS... its so cheesy, but the movie has gotten me completely hooked. YAY for new fandom

Annie leaves for Europe to join Alana there, which leaves me with very few friends left in Melbourne. Somewhat isolating, but makes me want to get over there so much quickers

On Travel, Tickets booked for 1st of august, and i have decided exactly where i am going on my 4 week back packing tour... Start off in Belgium, to Cologne, Berlin, Warsaw, Krakow, Prague, Bratislava, Budapest, Vienna, Salzburg, Munich, Heidelberg... Back to UK

Jess may join me in Iceland :D

Work is kind of dull, but at least I am getting money, just wish I could do more while I was there... Hopefully get more work soon

Tags: fandom, friends, life, travel

A list of Movies, Books, Tv shows and Albums that i have consumed throughout the year, and their subsequent rating

funfunfun


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...Things to do when schooling has finished


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Feeling the need to stop writing history notes...
American revolution is quite simply the most boring revolution ever!
WHERE IS THE TERROR AND DESTRUCTION PEOPLE??
(should Probably do some Unit Four Philosophy notes at some point as well)
I am aiming to write at least 5 essays a week for English, as i need to get my essay writing up. The Lake of the Woods SAC is going to haunt me forever and ever and ever...

I also need to do a plan of learning
And Gladstone needs to stop distracting me. FOR REALS
he is so cute though, and his head is getting really booffy... Its adorable. :D



Anyway, I want to dedicate a post to the awesomeness that is Jens Lekman
Because his lyrics are made of epic love

( Oh, you're so silent Jens )

Last day of term. Which is brilliant and utterly terrifying... It is depressing how little work i have done. and for most of the year i have still gotten really good marks... lately i have been getting some B+'s.
Its disheartening.
And my self esteem as it is, cannot really cope with it. I know it is easily remedied by doing some work... but i have so much trouble doing it...
It really is just laziness...
god, i hate myself so much sometimes


Also, I have been thinking a lot about my father lately...
I used to say that if ever given the chance I would not go back in time a stop my father dying, because it would have changed the direction of my entire life. I would not have gone to my school, not have met all the people in my life, not have had the relationship with my mother i have.

But I honestly don't know what my answer would be now, especially considering what could have been had he survived. I feel that, the huge gaping hole inside of me would never had existed. I am so utterly alone most almost all of the time, just deep ache that exists, and no one i know has ever filled it. I imagine i am somewhat at fault for that, as i never let anybody in...
I suppose i fear i am not good enough to be loved...


Anyway, i got a haircut. Very happy with it

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I saw my lovely new cousin! she was born two weeks ago, and she is beautiful. I happened to see her this sunday before Death Cab, and it was lovely. I saw Jarrah as well, and he loves me, which makes me beyond happy. He is walking around like he is crazy on speed, then he falls over, and cries, then gets back up again. And so it goes, over and over!
He is the most adorable baby ever. i want to eat him all up. You can tell he is already going to be a sports fanatic. Which, i suppose in this family was somewhat likely. I appear to be the only mutant child thus far. There is still hope he will turn into the bohemian artist that i so wished him to be...
Or, I can get to work on Nelly Rose, turn her to our little radical!
Anyway, here is a picture

Nelly Rose





I also am the biggest dud in the world, yet, totally brilliant. The Creative Literature Sac was due today, which we have had a week to work on, yet i only started today. I managed to finnish at lunch time, and it was actually really good. I have no idea how i managed to pull that off... really
It sets an awful precedent though. I should feel more panicky by now about school. But I really don't. I do no work, yet manage above average grades. Sure, i could do better, but, the one time, i actually wasn't turning up to class, did no work, i got a B+. That is the only time I have gotten anything below an A...
See, maybe if I was going shit, i would actually work...
probably not though...

Saw Death Cab For Cutie last night.
It was so lovely, they're much harder live than they are on CD, and played kind of an odd play list. But Transatlanticism was the most epic of any songs ever. And, i love all of their songs, and it was fabulous.
However, they did not come on till 10: 15, and we where let in at eight, which meant alot of waiting around, and my feet are still sore.

But, they where brilliant, and lovely, and full of happiness...

( and there are photos under here )

OH MY FUCKING GOD, WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED. I MEAN SERIOUSLY. WHAT THE FUCK.

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT IS GOING ON
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS RTD WHY



you will always be my Doctor, Doctor Ten

I Have Decided To Start Writing In My LiveJournal Again!

I have made the executive decision that I desperately need to start getting some of the thoughts that plague my mind out into the external world. I seem to have lost any form of identity, and in order to make some sense of everything, I need to start to concrete some of notions and emotions that I am grappling with.
I spend so much time trapped within the confines of the ambiguity of internal introspection, that I have nothing to really ground myself to. It is possible that by starting to exert these pondering, I will be able to work through any negative thoughts, solve some of the questions, and lay rest to all the insecurities. And more specifically, it may allow me to take positive ACTIONS in my life, instead of positive decisions. I have come to a point in my life where I can either continue living the way I am, or actually take my dreams and desires and put them into to action. I made the decision long ago that I want and need to do this, but for the many flaws in my personality, I have not been able to do so thus far. Maybe this will help, maybe it will not.
Regardless, for my mental health it is imperative that I stop such futile brooding. The intangibility of simple thoughts that are not expressed has made me as a person feel just as intangible.

Here’s to something more.